Tales from the Walking Trail by Moxie Puppypants

moxieGreetings, humans!

Today we walked across the Big Street that runs past the best park in whole universe, because it is my park and I have left my stink in so many spots that all the other dogs stop and sniff and say “Moxie was here! She was HERE, too! Moxie must be the best most powerful dog in the world because I smell her in so many places! All dogs must bow before Moxie!”

We went to this place:mardukesignIt is a place where humans grow extra things they can’t grow in their own yards. Usually it is something to eat, like these things:tomatoes

or this tall thing:corn

But also things just to look at, like these things:moresunflower

To keep stupid squirrels away, because squirrels are dirty rotten thieves as well as being filthy liars and the worst vermin who should all die because they are worthless fleabag scum, and also so stupid that they believe a big plastic thing is an actual owl who could eat them even though it is out in the middle of the day and owls don’t do that you stupid stupid squirrel, humans put up this on a stick:owl


I enjoyed smelling all the new things, like these food things:peppers

and whatever was in these bags:bagsmell

If you want to grow things there, you need to tell the Park District humans. Here are directions:mardukeplots

But no squirrels allowed!




About susiecarroll

I threw off the yoke of corporate oppression for the apron of domestic aggression
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