Until I can find some real news, I will give the hyper-est of all hyper local news:
I shoveled the driveway. And sidewalks. And front stoop. And put down salt.
Then, I was told my an online quiz that Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel is my “inner Simpsons character.”
With that piece of disheartening news on my mind, I am on my way to a job interview.